By Bamidele Ademola-Olateju
E go perch, e go perch, na im butterfly dey take enter bush. Na so Tiwa Savage go take destroy herself? What a mess! What is the meaning of that “de prick wan wound me nonsense gig?” I had to search for the sex tape to see the prick. Is that prick able to wound a virgin? Please!!! No one should come here and tell me not to judge her. What is that? Has she considered impressionable 12-15 year old girls who want to be like her? No one should say she did not ask to be a role model either. That is holy nonsense! Are those young people not the one paying to download her songs? Are they not the one who add her songs to their Playlists? We should all stop encouraging less than stellar behavior from those whom the young look up to. We should stop debasing values in the name of being woke or freedom. I am relieved that Cadbury, Glo et al have withdrawn their endorsements.
For every “negative” behavior that is public knowledge, the question is always; why did you do it? In our interconnected digital world, why would anyone record their most private and intimate moments? Did passion cloud their ability to consider the pros, cons, and consequences? In the recesses of your bedroom, it is okay to be deviant and naughty. It is your business. However, if you make a sex tape, be ready to live with uncertainty and the shaming that goes with it. Accessibility and hyper-connectivity are the vulnerabilities of our social age. We must also ask ourselves, why are these tapes always about cisgender heterosexuals? I think people do this to give vent to their exhibitionist and kinky sides. For Tiwa, wanting to look like a victim and milking this ugliness for gain, is totally disgusting.
To young girls who might read this, Allowing yourself to be recorded during sex, is not a symbol of the intimacy. Once you are on record, there is no guarantee it will remain a secret between you and your guy. If you break up, the video could be leaked to shame you. Even if the guy is a decent man who respects you, his phone could be hacked, lost, stolen, misplaced, or taken for repairs and a third party could blackmail you with it. You never can predict where the video will end up. No matter what a man tells you, no matter how much love or passion you feel, say NO! Prioritize your peace of mind over the heat of the moment. If a man truly loves you, he will respect your wish and privacy. Never give in, even if he promises to delete. If he deletes the video, what if a version is in the memory card? Do not send nudes either. As if we don’t have enough problems already! Enough of these gradual erosion of our values in the name of freedom! We are humans!